In line at the arbys drive thru on foot. Legendary.
I'm sorry I didn't make it out, I got distracted by sparkley boobies.
Dude I think I vomited on the wireless internet box too...it isnt working.
If a video of someone that looks like me banging that chick on the hood of her car in some parking lot suddenly shows up on the web... let me know, I gotta see how that turned out.
The ice cream man just told me to use protection.
Cats found the secret coke stash again
They owe us $80.
I decided tomorrow is going to be great day wether my period likes it or not
So someone just pointed out to me that during dinner, I mentioned more women that I'm attracted to than men. The transition might be complete. I'm gay.
Step one go to argentina step two fuck bitches it's a simple plan really
Withdrawals are gods way of saying "you're still my bitch"
Just remembered I said your cat looked delicious last night.
Do they still have sex clubs in San Francisco? Because that'd be an interesting way to spend Easter.
Well, I got fired yesterday. At least I already paid for my Adele tickets.
Just so you know, it is really hard to rehydrate when everything is spiked with everclear.
Flirting with/getting ready to possibly sleep with a married HS classmate and getting added to a bible study group chat within minutes of each other. #Balance
Randomize
