On friday while at the hotel bar by myself (creepy) I made friends w/ a millionaire who said he may be running for the position of mayor in richmond va (likely a lie). At one point during our discourse he asked if I was crazy. In the effort of full disclosure I looked him in the eye and said yes
I don't know what prompted his inquiry, clearly this man had impeccable intuition
but, i was nude. you really should respect my stupidity and delete them. please.
These people need to leave so I can have rum and Doritos at work like every other American.
I just had one of those moments where i was really sad that i'll never get to be asian.
Hey so summary of last night. I threw up in a rain boot then tipped it over on my bed, did my laundry and passed the fuck out. I feel like I didn't see you.
I passed out on the floor of a truck stop. Drinking binge 2011 is now over.
There are at least 3.6 billion human cocks in this world. Get some. Get as many as humanly possible. Literally. Do it. 1-2-3 go!
I'm one ex away from doing an entire victory lap of all of the guys I've hooked up with since second semester of freshman year. Single me is scary.
Can you send me a picture of you not naked, my mom wants to see what you look like
He said I act like a cross between a kindergartener and a high 70 year old man. Which is inacurate because it fails to account for the disco obsession.
Mostly what I remember is someone saying "raise your hand if you're too turnt" then raising my hand and falling
I'm not letting you use my bathroom unsupervised anymore. You peed in the sink thinking it was a urinal...
I was grinding on my boss last night. So Monday will be fun. That's what's going on in my life right now.
Mike fell asleep with his hand down my pants. I'm clearly an enticing person.
The people around me on the bus dont know im wearing glowsticks under my clothes. I feel like a super hero.
Randomize
