How am I supposed to spread my seed with you "modern women" and your birth control?
Haha im Trying. This detox stuff tastes nasty. It's bad when the only thing that came to mind when i took the first sip was how good it would be with Vodka
How long is it safe to eat only Hot Pockets and Popsicles?
There is something about weddings and lines being done off my ass
All I know is for some reason I was sitting naked in the hallway playing an invisible ukulele singing somewhere over the rainbow. I wonder why security came.
Uh yeah. I ate a brick of cheese. Didn't even cut it. We were admiring the teeth marks I was leaving. We decided it was the negative of my mouth
At this point I will cuddle anything to prevent from dying alone
I'm going to try to ignore the homoerotic subtext in that last question...
I really wanted to suck your dick, but I also didn't want to miss any of the movie
I'm sort of afraid for my life tho. If the 4th of July can be the way it was a DMX show is capable of anything
So now I'm lying here in bed taking notes from Teen Mom... I fucked up
but there's so much I wanna do before I have kids. like die
I finally got my restraining order in the mail. Was that supposed to upset me? I'm just over here like "TELLEM BOY BYE!-\nlegally..."
Forget work, lets run away, rob banks, and have kinky sex with fuzzy handcuffs.
IT'S LIKE YOU READ MY MIND.
You left your phone here
Wait...
Randomize
