Tears do usually get me what I want. That and oral sex.
she needs to learn to take compliments like she takes dicks.
Would it be cruel if i sold xanax instead of adderall to freshman unfamiliar to the drug-taking profession?
Just found pics of us from Mardi Gras last year. Your boob job really is better than mine.
Every concussion has its silver lining
yes i am an adult who snuck out of my parents house to cuddle with a guy and then came home and listened to taylor swift. judge me all you want.
Wtf are freshmen gonna think when the first thing they see in a pale 6'4 white kid with a mustache yelling ya man and we be liming in a Trinidadian accent
I put my hydrocodone prescription in my cereal box its like real lucky charms
Don't talk to me about scholarly dedication until you've taken a final in boxers, a bloody tank top and a zip tie to hold your hair back. I wear the most sullied 4.0 crown of all time....
You asked the bartender if she was trying to get you drunk. She cut you off after that.
Im going to hell I gave him a handjob on the plane next, to an old guy playing video games on his iPad, on good friday.
He came all over her clothes we have to leave
I thought you were dead but then you asked me if your tits looked good. They did.
I'm going to make a stack of pancakes and fuck it. Right now.
Did you fill my inhaler with tequila?
Yeah, so?
Randomize
