So did the night end well for you?
I stole a traffic cone and drunk texted my sister because i couldn't think of any other girl to text
I don't think requesting him as a BBM contact is proper protocol following vomming in his bed.
You kept telling me to "raw dog" your take home breathalyzer without the mouthpiece
It's shedding
I told you penises don't tan
The higher i get, the less gay he looks, and the more i want to make out with him. This is dangerous.
I really think we need to get on this Charlie Sheen bandwagon
I have to overdose on valtrex I had a rough weekend.
I consider myself an expert at getting drunk and embarrassing people at weddings.
how do you ask an olympian for your underwear back?
He's pretty cool once you ignore the fact that he's trying to get into your pants
Trying to take a nap and my brain decides to play "lets have flashbacks every time you blew it with a chick in college". It's a montage of stupidity and youthful inexperience. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
I just want a relatively mentally stable guy with tattoos and facial hair that loves Captain America as much as I do and will fuck me the way I deserve to be fucked, is that too much to ask for?
Pretty sure we ruined a bachelorettes life last night
She thought I was dancing but I just couldn't catch my balance for 11 blocks.
I'm a shining star this evening. Dancing with a cane in rite aid now. I should be kept under survaillance.
Randomize
