Hey babe, chan wants you to stop texting her about the size of TJ's dick. please.
its always fun the next morning to look around the room and see where all the clothing landed.
He told me to pretend to be a shark, and he would slay me with his harpoon cock.
My mom can no longer prohibit me from smoking pot..I sell to her boyfriend.
I feel like my vagina stays drunk longer than the rest of me. It's always super sensitive and hungry the day after drinking.
Can you explain to me how i got kicked out of a bar last night, from outside the bar?
I just heard "I just let you finger me on Megabus, I clearly don't have standards".
I don't think he knows what shame means anymore. He gave some bar slut his sisters Tiffanys necklace, in exchange for anal.
Bro, did you watch that scooby doo porn I sent to you?
Pretty sure my idea of standards went out the window when I hooked up with a guy who had a rooster tattoo with an arrow pointing down to his no no bits. Think about it.
.It's like gods test of willpower against vaginal comfort
My very favorite thing in the whole world is when guys try to booty call her as I'm fucking her. Sucks to suck.
Campus scavenger hunt! and by scavenger hunt I mean all the pharmacies are sold out of Plan B.
hey sorry i didnt call i just got out of jail, so you still dtf ?
What the hell was that?
Genius. It was sheer genius.
Randomize
