its like he missed a chap in the "being a guy" handbook and read the bible instead
The make-up sex just reminded me why we broke up in the first place.
then for some reason i googled "how much to buy a cannon"
I know the vomits not mine cause its on my back.
There's a difference between southern and inbred. She just doesn't know that yet.
Let's go free Charlie Sheen and party with him
So. Much. Sex. I feel like i ran a marathon then someone kicked me in the vagina. Soo worth it
he was spitting whole peanuts projectile out of his mouth at the waitresses as they walked by and then yelled across the restaurant that he had "no problem kicking any of their asses"
Your cousin just asked the bartender to start a round of vagina shots. Not body shots. Vagina shots. We're taking her out more often.
I think our prof has caught onto our drinking game. He burst into the room with a big smile on his face and yelled "essentially! Essentially! Essentially!"
I have a better chance beating China's military with slap bracelets than this plan has of working.
Willing booties have sort of a tractor beam for me.
My ex is having a baby and I'm over here planning my dogs birthday celebration...
When is the party?
he had DANDRUFF in his PUBES. 0/10 would not blow again.
WHAT THE FUCK I JUST PULLED TWO TAMPONS OUT OF MY VAGINA. WHERE DID THE OTHER ONE COME FROM??
....surprise!
Randomize
