Going to eat lunch. Bunch of people in church clothes, and we are hungover, wearing pajamas, and in real danger of puking on the floor. We're about to destroy the ambience of this joint.
Why is there not a 'day after acid' genre. Or even a pandora station or something.
That's why you NEVER put anything a stripper gave you in your mouth
PS August 29 of last year was when you ran over my foot. Facebook just reminded me.
After Madison dropped a bottle of full vodka an it shattered on the floor, it was quiet for literally 3 min straight and then drew said "the booze gods have spoken"
YOU ARE TAKING ADVANTAGE OF MY INEBRIATED STATE
YOU ARE DRUNK AND USED AND SPELLED THE WORD "INEBRIATED" CORRECTLY. I AM TAKING ADVANTAGE OF NOTHING.
I CAN'T HELP THAT I'M MULTITALENTED YA FUCKER
well he got me up crazy early but i got pizza for breakfast and an electric blanket to sleep with sooo he passed the one night stand test.
Omg he has a washer and dryer IN his apartment and lots of back up toilet paper. I went home with an adult. My uterus is pumping out eggs beyond my control.
We were having a serious discussion about Blue's Clues and I just kept thinking, 'you've seen me naked'.
This is what we get for finishing a whole box of Franzia by ourselves
Found a trail of Taco Bell hot sauce packets through the garage to our back door and cheese in my bra. I'll say it was a successful Sunday Funday.
What the hell happened to the sandwich meat I just bought?
After you smoked, you made 8 ham sandwiches.
Guess that explains the mysterious disappearance of the bread...
I cannot, in good conscience, let you talk to a guy who wears Chaps and a knit beanie
How do you teach a grown ass men how to fuck? Why is good sex so hard to find these days?
My moral compass kept pointing to his penis.
Randomize
