she said she could "feel the heat of my groin" against her. ruined the whole fucking moment.
since when did accompanying a guy to a wedding mean that anal was required that night?
i got excepted to unl lol
You mean "accepted".
So I was gonna stay in tonight but the president got me motivated! I will not quit. Bars here I come.
You were mumbling a lot and offered me 20 dollars to leave you alone
Your last words were "i'm gonna motorboat the bartender." then you commenced with an attempted motorboat
i sat alone in my bed and ate pizza and garlic fingers. The icing on the cake was hearing your moans from down the hall.
He showed up 3 hours late wearing roller skates and acted like nothing was wrong with that.
Freshman ate returning to campus. Let Operation Slut Storm commence.
gave him road head on the way to his grandparents house. purposely didn't let him finish, the sexual tension over turkey was indescribable.
One day, tell me please to stop buying shots when I'm overwhelmed. I might have just broken a tooth
it's almost 8pm and i'm still hungover. at what point do i alert someone?
If you can get her to make out with you without paying for it, I will personally make you president of the american lesbian league
A big thanks to that bride-to-be, Her fiance and his loaded friends will forever hold a place in my heart for the generous tequila body shots on the couch at Henry's.
The world is a different place when I'm actually having sex
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