I wish they had an "I'm Stoned" genre on online Netflix
i just woke up to a text from him apologizing for making me eat a full lemon
Just so you know you don't have to worry about me picking up any guys tonight. The Hilton is hosting guests from the North American Gay Volleyball Association and the Comic Palooza
Im surprised putting the throwing knife "dartboard" next to the door didnt end up worse
Sometimes I wonder if my parents know that I mean horny when I say lonely.
That's the only definition of lonely that I know.
My goal for the night is to see your housemate's one lonely teste.
Dude, I had no choice. I was defending my genitals.
So on a scale of 1 to Friendship-Over, how mad would you be if a rando I brought home sharted on the shag carpet in the living room?
The best part about being single is knowing how much everyone secretly creeps behind their gf/bfs back. You wouldn't believe..Have a great date night!
Awkwardly walking by your fuck buddy and waving a casual hi in his direction like nothing has happened is probably the best thing in my life
I taped a pair of scissors and a coupon for a waxing on the door. He gets to choose.
FUCK YOU AND YOUR WEAK ASS EYEBROWS
I'll be honest, this year's Vegas trip will be nothing short of disappointing if there's no repeat of the angry ménage a trios in a closet.
I need your opinion, is it ACTUALLY sweet that a booty call offered to walk me home with an umbrella because it was raining, or is that just low standards?
He put on star wars porn, i thought it was hilarious last night but now i'm wondering why he has star wars porn
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