in the event that i am dead, my body is laying in the intersection of ... the pearl in springfield. it was my friend's 21st but i think i'm dead. wearing a black top. like i said, probably dead.
She had to get her inhaler in the middle of fucking...but she kept it in.
And then I saw the naval officer and gave up that whole new leaf thing
The maintenance guy at work just asked me out for a drink. For once, I proudly said that I was 20.
Stop. He threw up in front of Madison Square Garden security. Spit at the guys feet and grunted ughhh at him.
There's always one sober annoying person at a party. I hate responsible people. I just wanted to show everyone my nipples. There cute. She didn't have to stop me
I can't blame him for thinking that then, placing a cone shaped potato chip on the tip of his penis post bj is not a normal act of love
Well I just put wine in my tea
.As long as you're some how patriotic with your sexual escapades, I can support it.
Naked snow angels was a very bad idea. My vag is now frozen shut.
Urgent. Do not ignore. What does this "=$" shit mean. Quality foreign dick is at stake here
Hahahaha .. If it makes you feel better I had a sex dream about a cheeseburger last night so I feel like we both lose.
Started crying to "that's the way it is" by celine. What the fuck uterus?!
Tomorrow I'm going to tape my thumbs to my palms and my biceps to my abdomen to learn what it's like to be a t-rex for a day. Anyone else in?
He's here walking around DRUNK AS FUCK in a Kobe Bryant number 8 jersey... Tucked in.
Randomize
