apparently i started the naked brigade. and depantsed everyone who wasn't naked. her parents must hate me.
The first sip always goes straight to my vagina.
four days late. damn you, makeup sex. you win again.
Brought a cooler and a case to a parade. I'm getting dirty looks since it's 10:30. Telling people it's for the troops.
My gynecologist just commented on how well my vagina was waxed
all of his pictures were taken on a library computer, how did you even consider fucking him?
You're mold. I may or maynot have puked blood this morning.
So I found the perfect "Yeah I gained weight since high school but it went to all the right places" outfit for the reunion this weekend.
You peed on a pole and declared to a cop that it was your pole and yelled at him to not even look at it, and then yelled at all of us for looking at it.
OMG -- There are strippers in the bathroom crying because their power moves aren't good enough to win the competition
The contents of my fridge consist of alcohol, Nuva ring, and cheesecake. I'm that girl.
You tried to prove you weren't drunk by loudly singing the romanian national anthem. Why the fuck do you even KNOW the romanian national anthem?
New low: uploading my contacts into Facebook in an attempt to get the name of the girl I brought home last night.
location: under the moon. please find me. need ride home.
They have a shelf full of jello shots, what have i gotten myself into
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