in the practice room. just found 3 bottles of smirnoff hidden inside the piano. SO glad i didn't get into berklee...
I feel like my life has just been one 21 year long episode of "i shouldn't be alive"
No, he will live forever, like cockroaches and Jack Bauer.
It was like she tried to cover up all the weight she gained with a fake tan...
IDK but this explains my bloody dashboard.
Turns out puking in your mask makes it even harder to see out of the mask..
it wasn't sex so much as.....a disastrously uncomfortable sexual experience
You dont lie about slip and slides
The number of people who end up getting laid as a result of the cha cha slide....is terrible.
So did I or did I not flash an entire concert last night?
I found a guy who will take me to the Olive Garden and he is CONVENTIONALLY ATTRACTIVE.
He's a 30 yr old man who voluntarily goes by Stevie and his job title is "Jumbotron Operator". There's a 97.5% chance he lives in his mom's basement. STOP THIS NOW!!!
Dude, putting on underwear straight out of the dryer is the greatest thing ever. It feels like I wrapped my vagina in a warm blanket.
You drunk? Cause I have a terrible idea...
I'm fairly sure I accidentally saw my dad naked last night
Randomize
