White coat. Heels.
Fyi: he's overweight and balding. My biological clock is ticking so loud I can't hear the TV.
TXT her NOW! The phone is actually IN her Va-Jay-Jay!!
What's the procedure for failed threesomes? Do I friend her on facebook this morning?
ha so i just found a picture of you eating paper towels and many of Laura freaking out from it.
Have introduced beer-pong to my work's Tuesday lunches.
We literally played a game called pass the child which consisted of us shitfaced tossing the 5 year old birthday boy at each other
don't let me wipe my vag with a dirty leaf outside of mcdonalds ever again.
I'll be there in a few.
I'M COUNTING TO FEW.
As a 47 yo who just boned a 22 yo, it was definitely a walk of pride. She is a major feather in my aging cap.
Well statistically J has a 1 in 3 chance of hospitalization when downtown
And a 3 for 3 for disapeearing
😂😂😂 what are we doing to these poor guys?!
Maintaining the status quo.
What's the blow job-backrub exchange rate these days? I've got some killer stress knots
We found you with your penis in the vacum hose crying softly...
Whoever thought of breakup sex is my new best friend
Randomize
