I'm at the store buying plan b and vodka
the cocktail of hope
No vaginas are yucky and I don't think you're old enough to handle one yet
He sang nursery rhymes to my vagina to get me to have sex with him..
I think I'm going to make a pina klonopin before class.
she asked how her costume looked and all i could say was bars are dark right?
Ahahhahaha I'm not that stupid but then again I thought cabo was in Africa until yesterday
Sunshine is the equivalent of sprinkling whore pellets on campus.
I flashed a party boat full of Asians yesterday, didn't I?
Using all my books as packing buffer for my liquor bottles. And you said being an English major was worthless.
$1 drinks and Playboy theme. I am never leaving this place
1. Why did we have the team Chirstmas party in November 2. Why didn't anyone tell me the coaches were invited 3. Why did coach get the giant vibrator I brought
Cocaine and dance dance revolution for 4 hours. I consider last night a success.
Ate 3 ghost peppers and chased them with Everclear last night. Currently on the toilet cursing the universe and everyone in it.
I or someone else dumped a lot of glitter into my boobs last night.
I feel like I purchased a one way ticket to hell last night and its non refundable.
Randomize
