thanks...oh and i got my period
told you
oh hush
Corey Haim died. 80's me is so sad
He moved away. I mourned his dick all of Sunday. I feel a little better now.
I thought about donating plasma but thats not the way i want to find out that i have aids
I just banged that chick from the bar by speaking french. all i had to do was recite my grocery list
He just told me what he wants for his birthday. "a noise complaint" he also said he wants to be the cause of all the noise but he won't be the one making the noise.
On duty sugar tits. A Marine never abandons his post to take nudi pics.
Also, I found out that my dad has the name of every boy that I've ever dated and their physical description, car type and tag number stored in his computer.
Apparently Angela went missing once and he says he learned were to look first and that it's best to have information on hand.
And then she said "wanna make a vine of me twerking on the wall?"
The man was doing everything in his power to get away from his wife, including go into the gay club.
I need a nap, Harry Potter movies, and dick in this exact order after work.
One of your snapchats was of you with a 40oz of Mickeys and the caption: "Deep Throat back in her natural habitat"
Fuck you. Leave my nipples out of this. THEY DID NOTHING TO YOU
Sorry 4 always trying to rope you into my sexual exploits
I got drunk. Then I took a shit.
It was a good shit
Randomize
