either she doesn't know how to dress properly on a sunday morning stroll, or I just saw a 60 year old on a walk of shame
Just got an email from TMobile. Said they were going to pursue "more qualified" candidates. So this is what rock bottom feels like.
For future reference, the words 'big' and 'problem' should be used sparingly with a person whom you have recently had copious amounts of unprotected sex
But I feel like studying my flashcards during a blowjob would be rude...
There is a large scratch and bruise about the size of a pizza bagel next to my vagina. Please text back if you know what happened.
Hes trying to fuck me on a bear rug. Not saying no.
I fucking love my neighbors. I offered him chocolate and somehow it turned into a sexual proposition.
I feel like he better crank it up to level RG IV tomorrow. It's the fucking playoffs.
I was weirded out when the chunky goth girl and her boyfriend both started eyeing me and wanted to by me a drink.
I thought since you asked to see my dick I might as well say hi
I'm eating chocolate cake while this guy snaps me from the gym. Like I cant believe i actually considered getting rid of this cake. Have fun sweating ima eat this cake 👌
Did we just second hand smoke crack?
I'm keeping him.
Sex was good?
I had to tap out three times. There aren't words for how much better than "good" that is.
im just letting you know I walked in on you with four different guys last night. a. you were all naked. b. they're all roommates
OH GOD IT TASTES LIKE IT SMELLS
Randomize
