I think we should go ahead and pin a note to my shirt when we go out that says"do NOT buy me shots"
On the back we can put possible side effects may include: indiscriminate making out, brief crying spells, yelling in jibberish, and sudden sleep.
JoAnns office is warmer than mine. . .it must be because she has the gateway to hell under her desk.
I love him more than I love myself. Which is a lot...Because I'm narcissistic.
i just won an entire level on word mole with the word 'clitoris'
LETS GO REDSKINS!
Quit drinking and watching your DVR, it's wednesday.
That sucks about the drama. But hey, it's always a good day when you see someone get tazed!
You fucked everything up-can't pass a cleared kitchen table without getting hard
Well I went on a freakin rampage and destroyed a fan and claimed that it wasn't doing its fan duties... Then I knocked on everybody's doors in the hall and asked if they were content with their fan's performance and if not I would take care of it...
i have two emotions: emotionless and blind with rage
Until this weekend, a man hadn't made me orgasm since the night Obama was elected. Now THAT is change I can believe in.
So because I got upset you didn't answer I threw my phone in the garbage disposal last night
Impressive. I've never gotten straight denied and then chased the guy naked out of my own apt. I'll remember that next time.
When have we listened to the rational side of either of us?!
They offered me pot brownies in 7 minutes flat. Imagine my horror when I had to be like, are those gluten free?
VASECTOMY FOR THE WIN
Randomize
