It had been so long since my last time that it was easily a double helping of stomach pancakes. I think she was mildly impressed.
i cant text you anymore tonight, God gave me two hands for two cups
It just gets louder and louder too...dear god. Her poor vagina.
Tough to say exactly how to play this. I just know people don't like surprises when genitals are involved.
we went 3 years between hookups and she got a lot better. Amanda's moving way up the booty call pecking order.
She just kept saying "bless your heart" to him while he cried because he came so fast. I think a Texas woman was just what he needed
I only had sex with him so I could try to steal his roommate's cat, what kind of girl do you think I am?
To the person who put the glitter on my ceiling fan...fuck you
He keeps asking the karaoke guy to play let it go from frozen so he can sing it in a falsetto
I would totes reciprocate the nip pic, but I'm sick with a piece of tissue shoved up one of my nostrils and I'm just not feeling that ambitious. Sorry.
He stopped me mid blowjob and asked me to take off my hat. He said it made him feel like Neil Young was going down on him.
He was trying to break into my apartment to get the coke he left last night, didn't engage parking break, so the van started rolling. yup, it's broken.
My liver is going to reject life during Greek Week
How many liver transplants can a person have? Bc you may need a couple
The economy cant be that bad, I willingly got fired to bang her again.
Turns out naked twister is less fun than it sounds. I can never look Lee in the eye again. But Aimee's boobs are glorious.
Randomize
