I'm kindof freaked out about my cock not getting up this morning. Cove over later so I can sort this out. Do not post this on texts from last night.
Damn that would have been a great one. Hahah and don't worry...
If a woman tells you she has been pink socked...don't move forward with her.
Have you ever seen a 300 pound pregnant lady's boob fall out of her shirt cuz she's not wearing a bra? I have.
i wonder if i could find a boyfriend who would call me big papa
sure if you go to prison
she was so hung over that i had to hold her hair while she puked in a trash can in the middle of the student center as new freshman and their parents walked by.
His dick was so small it sat perched on top of his balls like it was king of his scrotum.
you went to subway and got pissed when they refused to deep fry your sub
He wasn't eating out, he was performing a hysterectomy without a license....should I be worried about my future family?
CHEMICAL ENGINEER. God my mom would be so proud of me.
Like do you realize his dealer came out with a gun and we laughed like it was all just fun and games...
I'm going to fuck every single member of the men's olympic swimming team and no one is going to stop me
I thought that wasn't a thing ever since she showed you her vag on the dance floor
it was just another one of those moments where you unfriendzone a friend you assumed to be gay
True strength comes from lack of pants
My books smell like weed. What does that tell you about my college experience?
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