Yeah, but I'm out of licorice and there's no way anywhere near here will rent us all mopeds on a Tuesday night.
Just saw a teacher from our school with his wife... Now i really know how little teachers get paid.
you refused to leave the drive-thru at mcdonalds until the cashier took a jello shot
every time i wear that dress i get kicked out of a bar.
you are not perverted enough for this relationship to work out.
I'm hoping he'll tell everyone how great in bed I am. Well, how great in bathroom floor I am.
This would be a good time for the don't get drunk and bang a married chick pep talk...
We are going to be Siegfried and Roy for Halloween and you are going to be the tiger.
I would think I was a stalker too if I wasn't myself
I don't want to hear about you making out with a high schooler. I just had the best sex of my life. My face and arms went numb in the middle of it.
I didn't notice because vodka
He talked for 3 hours straight on how his dad is a dentist how fuck do you think my night was
I want the address of the individual responsible for strawbeeritas. I want to send them gift basket.
It was like 10 tiny penises being shoved in my vagina.
My thoughts mid terrible hookup: do people normally read a magazine right about now?
Randomize
