i finally understand why guys leave in the middle of the night.......they got it right
Remind me that when I'm pregnant, I should NOT post vaginal dilation updates on my facebook. Ever.
I knew we should have skipped class earlier, my lab partner is drunk from last night and making up his own experiments.
I didn't take her seriously until she snorted that ramen noodle flavor packet...
Dude, she introduced me to her best friend form Russia and she was a 10. Her other Russian friend was even hotter. How did communism fail?
I just hit the bong during the whole bday song then blew the candles out with my exhale.
The Vegas crew is in two groups, Team Vodka and Team Fireball. There is no winner in this.
Everyone is drunk but me. Fantastic. Everyone is hooking up but me. Awkward.
I had a pitcher of margaritas. Now I'm in a laundry room being a 5th wheel and crying. I made myself a bed out of a pool floatie. I win.
I got to masturbate in Rome in a gorgeous hotel room. Don't try and tell me I need a boyfriend
What are your thoughts toward getting nasty in a minivan?
He started french braiding my hair while I was blowing him. The question is not why, but how.
He said we were over, wrote my name on the condom he left in my car last night and said he'd always keep it in case I came back. It was kind of romantic
I may or may not have hooked up with the cop who arrested me.. Or I can cross hooking up with a stripper in a cop outfit off my bucket list.
I took a pregnancy test at Pancheros a bit ago.
Can I drink yet?
It's Monday morning.
Your point?
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