I did the walk of shame to another booty call
I don't think that should turn me on, but it does
They better compete for your attention. Dual to the fuck
You said that you were drinking out of a pan, and then went on to apologise to 'Jesus and all the other guys' for drinking on a Sunday.
My last google search of the night was "Things that cost $102.50"
I let him fuck me in a batman costume. Don't talk to me about needing to read fifty shades gray.
I just made a drink so ill shit. It's goona be great. Ill tell you about it when you get here. Get pumped. For my shit.
Drunk Jeff aka Dreff thinks he's about 3x cooler than be really is and about 100x better at dancing than he really is
I am disappointed by everyone's lack of ability to dance on a stripper pole:(
Mom just walked in with a bag of weed and funyuns. I'll talk to you later.
Awkward, walking to my bootycall's hotel room and run into my dad leaving his. Just nodded to each other and went on our ways
I didn't pay $79 for lingerie for you to cum in 30 seconds
it was cool until he whispered 'sounds like you need a good dicking' with a completely serious face and i just lost it
Last night was a sign that I need to stop sleeping with any girl that can quote the mighty ducks
Specially the ones that look like Goldberg
He came into my room last night and started peeing underneath my desk, I told him the bathroom was the next door over.
She's chasing the cat around the house hitting it with a cardboard sword yelling "there can be only one!"
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