Wow so rude I was trying to have an orgy later but whatever
I think having sex with you would be a great treat for us
you guys got to bein so kosher and go with the flow
Me + Nice restaurant + Copious amounts of booze + obscene comments to couples = valentine's day plans
If you win this game of words with friends, ill suck you off for 30 minutes. No lie.
I cant last that long. Do i get the rollover minutes?
You never realize how many sex toys you have until you have to strategically hide them while moving out of your dorm.
Cumming on a girls face is guy code for you're not wife material.
He just told me he's been drinking vodka at work all day. I'm starting to believe in soul mates.
No, not normal drunk. Wake up on a trampoline with a naked chick you've never seen before drunk. I think i missed my first trampoline sex...
I'm sorry that I didn't get belligerently drunk and did not put my penis on your neck again
At least I remembered to wear a bra. I feel like that's a big accomplishment right now
So I just went to clothing optional bar
I'm only coming over if you have cocaine or a snickers bar
This is the best thing we've done since that time we started a religion
Gotta love college... Pregamed for my 8:30 flight home this morning and gave the flight attendants all high fives when I got on the plane. Best ride of my life.
I'm laying backwards. On the stairs. Eating carrots. And drinking from a captain Morgan bottle.
Dear god my vagina.
Randomize
