Braces and a neon one piece. She looks 15.
i'm in love
Just found out I have to work new year's eve. It's like one final 'fuck you' from 2009.
he asked me if i wanted "a hit" off his inhaler. its definitely time for a new roommate
Just mindlessly walked into the mens bathroom. My vagina has now become its own independent being, looking for penises. I'm just along for the ride.
Know what's awesome? Flying a mini helicopter while you shit.
Guess who won a bet and gets to name it Optimus prime if it's a boy
Nevermind. Totally worth it.
Ok more importantly someone in a chicken costume just stepped in front of my car and started breakdancing...
I was talking about you wanting my dick, but that works too
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
I found them. Thank God. Now I'm gonna have to take a Xanax for the panic attack I almost had trying to find my Xanax.
Let's just say we ended up at Denny's with a strippers shoe that we had to discreetly leave at the door to the strip club this morning
He started making out with my boobs. I didn't know whether to be proud of my boobs or ashamed of my mouth.
You should really look at your snapstory. It has us screaming " MANSION DICK! SUCK IT! FUCK IT!" By the way im currently in a mansion and need you to pick me up
Basically all I do anymore is get stoned with my cats, and then we share goldfish.
This guy on tinder just told me that he wanted to tie me up and asked me what I thought. I told him I wanted tacos
Randomize
