If I could text you the sound of me vomming, I would.
i really wish facebook had an app for when you are looking at a chick's photo album, you could just skip to the ones where she and/or her friends are dressed like skanks
The sky will open, cue choir of angels: "oh! wow! Matt was right! Not only will I grow out my bush, but I'm going to date straight, available men!"
got a scholarship and a hot psych teacher. hello spring 2010
I was mid-pee and he walked in, claimed he was looking for his phone, and then asked if we could hook up since we were finally alone.
so yall hooked up?
I was so high I thought there were pigeons in my room. Long story short there are now donut crumbs all around my bedroom.
direct quote from andrew "you know i can't hear when i drink whiskey"
I can't go to class, I have all this weed to sell
Let's go. I'm waiting for my time to shine among the stars of never never land. Make sure you bring my Peter Pan costume this time. Shit's bout to get real glittery.
You kept ranting how Captain Planet is getting shortchanged in the superhero department. Other than that you kept it together
I've officially slept with/dated two guys that have gotten tased. What the fuck is wrong with me
i guess i fuck people who own bucket hats so i can't talk shit
so in 24 hours i have gotten caught having sex in my car by a cop, almost burnt off my vag, almost got hit by a semi, and got fired. awesome.
YOU ATE THE FUCKING GOLDFISH!?
I had more orgasms than hours of sleep this weekend. I’m going to keep him around a while
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