awww and there was just a proposal on stage with the pussycat dolls !!!!!
Did someone propose they get off the stage?
question. what would be the least awkward way to ask your one night stand if he came inside of you because you would really prefer not to have his illegitimate lovechild. hypothetically.
a lot of self evaluation comes after you have to clean up a trashcan of your own vomit and condoms
The vodka told me to go iceskating on my frozen pool. I may have attempted.
I woke up this morning next to a stack of saltines & a txt from u saying "do it." it took me a second to remember wat was going on
Our dealer is pledging my frat. When he come to sell me weed I make him take out the garbage.
Is this a genuine concern or are you just high?
JUST BECAUSE I'M HIGH DOESN'T MEAN ITS NOT GENUINE CONCERN.
I would compare it to a jeffrey but in smoothie form. More drugs in here than Bobby Brown's sock drawer.
If you can find a Canadian Lesbian to have pity sex with me, let me know.
We told her to calm down. She said "I'm Buddha!". Then army crawled to the cooler for more vodka.
Stop touching yourself.
Wtf!?!?!?! Did you install a camera???
Can you get snapchat back so I can show you all the places I threw up in/on last night?
Why is everyone judging me for telling the cat a bedtime story?
I just chased my hot mailman down the street to ask him out and now I am 98% positive he gave me a fake number.
hurry there's a jack Daniels slip n slide and clothes are coming off faster than I can even comprehend oh thank god for autocorrect
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