do you know why "how to shave your balls" is bookmarked on my computer?
hahah your definitly as dumb as I think I thought you are. boom roasted.
I'm taking child development now so if you get pregnant i can raise your child no worries
I just saw a Kleenex commercial and thought about last night. I'm sorry about your hair.
Here's the thing. I'm really high and have lots of questions about lightning.
These girls just walked into this party as reverse cowgirls... Wearing cowboy clothes all backwards
I recently had a rabies scare because I thought putting socks on my hands to pick up a squirrel that got in my house was a good idea.
I got asked to "be the filling in a man sandwich." You don't get to pick the club again. EVER.
why isn't there a kind of gay where i let guys give me head but they don't expect me to give it back? i could be that kind of gay
He was that good?
after sex he fell asleep with his water bottle in one hand and his dick in the other at 6pm. I'm a winner.
looked it up online and zoo tickets are only 20 bucks and there's also a museum of science close to the hotel.
i'm not going to a FUCKING museum. i want to be wasted and possibly double penetrated... have you EVER been on vacation?
Should I be worried if two ants just crawled out of my purse?
Yes!
Yeah. We had phone sex then cried together, it was beautiful and heartbreaking
She’s super into those renaissance faires. But, if you can’t actually stab anyone, what’s the point?
I think my roomie is silently judging me for spraining my foot by having sex in a bounce house
so the bounce house and tequila was good idea then?
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