fix you gags fore go to garrits please? !!!!!!!
What does that mean?
How when the cu k dos I yet u
Focus
Alex, there's no such thing as a fancy sex store.
I wish the holidays was like a drive thru. Get in. Get your presents. Get out.
Today I learned you can't titshake with a corset on.
Someone wrote Kyle's bitch on me too. I dont even know who Kyle is.
Oh just living the dream. And by living the dream I mean drinking franzia out of a martini glass and watching family matters. Also, drinking every time Carl Winslow has a mustache and Eddie wears MC Hammer pants
then he tried to convert me to islam
Just remembered getting lost in a "shortcut" through yards and GPSing my way home last night
I'm just gonna plan on never getting a bf. everything I touch turns to gay
That's the first time I've ever heard something that tickled both my gag reflex and my penis simultaneously.
This is my punishment for trynna have a festive time with a stranger. I always forget you can't get weird with one night stands
I shit myself when I came, don't have flu sex
Getting food poisoning after eating at work was the cherry on top of my "Welcome back to real life" sundae.
So much for no-infidelity-fridays....
We need to feng shui this bitch.
Randomize
