you're like a bully in the Christmas story
I woke up this morning and the first thing i saw was the harry potter tattoo on his left butt cheek.
just found a beer in my hamper. even my laundry is a dirty alcoholic.
Santa Claus winked at me two tables over at the Chinese place tonight I was almost afraid he knew "getting laid" was my Christmas wish
He just said he wasn't going to drink on Saturday because he was drinking on Thursday and Friday...we need new friends.
We're not in high school anymore. I'm not going to pretend to be impressed as he butchers my favorite songs on his guitar. I just wanted to get laid.
Smoked a Vape in the library status: completed
I thought he was walking around the front. I just hit and run my booty call. I'm the worst non girlfriend ever
I'm figuring, since someone shoved pizza crust in my ear last night, there might be some leftover pizza.
She rode an inflatable shark down the stairs. Viva shark week.
I smelled him yesterday and almost relapsed he's like cocaine
I went to an 8am hookup in another guys sweatpants. Who is the really player here?
walk of shame across osu's campus on game day. i can see all the spots i threw up last night. its like my personal yellow brick road.
You like pics of my balls that much?
I am at the store looking at frames as we text...
tonight's safe word is brought to you by the phrase "Ahhhhhh"
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