I can't watch pbs sober anymore
I just walked into his bathroom to see two poops floating... no toilet paper. WTF!?
he had to fake a sneeze attack to hide the fact he came in 15 seconds?!
so its atleast an 8 for creativity.
This is a whole other level of drinking. Like the I used to eat paste with these people kinda drinking.
He told me that a camel appeared out of nowhere and it told him to quit smoking...
Dude. I kneed him in the face and gave him a black eye. It's like a constant reminder of our hookup. I feel like herpes. I never go away...
He was in Alberta for less than a week and is already banned from 6 bars. I fear for his general well-being over there.
I'll have you know my trust issues and my daddy issues are two COMPLETELY different topics of conversation.
I woke up with a meat pie in my hand and my mouth tasting like an ashtray. I'm a catch, really!
There's lube and condom packets all over the street we missed something awesome.
You kept singing "your gonna lose that girl" to him right in front of her.. of course you got punched in the face.
Being drunk at Chick-fil-A is a dystopian experience
Jus pulled over and stole. Corn out of a. Field. ... get on my level
He kept apologizing that the nerve damage makes him take a while to finish. Meanwhile he gave me 3 orgasms and a leg cramp
Only you could benefit from a reckless driver
Sharted again. Stuck in traffic. Fuck
Randomize
