you had a panic attack, pissed yourself, and started crying. you never go above the kiddie level of my lil bros schools haunted house ever again.
round 2?
EVER.
im spending all my christmas money on new years parafanalia aka things I will ingest or lose by the next morning
I was doing the dishes wondering what was with all the tiny little cups, but then I remembered that some people drink things other than huge mixed drinks and big cups of water the next day.
Peter invited his little brother to smoke with us and he is trying so hard to pretend he's done it before. When he saw the weed he was like "hell yeah!" and everyone got completely silent and just looked at him
I'll be honest, not actually surprised to find half a Big Mac box and bits of broken security glass by the sofa.
there are some nice people on this island. free ride free pancakes and they even prayed for us when they dropped us off
He slow fucked me. Doggy style. On a porch. You never slow fuck doggy style. Its a law. A LAW.
When we were fucking he said and I quote "we're like a sex fajita"
You got called a pussy at a party with a slow cooker, you can't let that shit slide
By 11 pm the pants were off and there was no turning back. But on the bright side, you promised me your CDs when you died, you even signed a napkin saying so.
I lost half a toenail and didn't realize it. Bloody shoe shoulda been a clue.
I just ate a handful of salt
I thought this was a good idea
Tacos and sex are way better than any anti depressant pill ever was. I think I made a medical discovery here.
I just want cinnabon and vodka.
A total of 3 guys left my apartment this morning. That was my first clue to my black out endeavors last night. Gotta love wine Wednesdays.
Randomize
