The girl here has a popped collar. Can I slap her?
Yes. For all mankind please do.
So apparently when I roll on X I find 'dick ina box' not only hilarious but also sexually arousing.
I kind of wish I was already fat. So I could eat all I want and not worry about getting fat. Cause I'd already be at that point.
I felt weird they were both staring at me waiting for the scoop on how your vagina felt.
It's sore actually
he's doing fine. just headbutted the wall and threw up
I just kept screaming "I'm fucking a preacher's son!" Also, this water tastes like weed.
Everyone else in class agrees the weed smell is coming from me
Sorry about flashing you in front of your mom.
I like the fact that you've for some reason taken my penis into protective custody
I guess she was just worried I'd end up sleeping with you again
It's not too late to disappoint her you know...
I was a bouncer for about 90 seconds until the real bouncers figured out that I was doing their job
I still can't get the taste of her nipples and the udon noodles out of my mouth
I'm really ok with inappropriate relationships. They are my favorite of all the relationships. No need to be timid. For crying out loud.
Come by so you can take a pregnancy test with me. It's like my monthly ritual!
A drunk frat boy just jumped on the hood of my car while I was driving down Bridge St. He yelled at me to keep going since he was playing frogger and needed another car to jump on... or a log. I hate this town.
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