Dude they have ski ball. Anywhere that has skiball is bound to be bangin.
My uncles bleeding, my brother has a black eye and my moms topless in the pool... How was your family cookout?
I'm partying with my neighbors right now, and by "with my neighbors" I mean they are partying in their backyard and I'm partying in mine, and by "partying" I mean I'm sitting here alone drinking tequila.
I have an odd instinct I wont find my underwear tonight
She had another shot and asked if I wanted to taste her tongue ring. Then I helped her pee.
Actually, you don't want to see me.. reached an all time low drinking kahlua out of the bottle concealed in a macdonalds bag
So neither of us had a dollar bill and we couldnt find a straw so we spent all nite doing coke through penne pasta
Well you tried to pay for a drink with your keys for one...
the whole bar just wished me luck with my booty call tonight
If you die first, I'm going to sleep with a pallbearer at your funeral.
You grabbed your house keys, threw them at the door and asked, "did it open?"
I don't think I'm gonna survive today. I don't remember how to walk. I must crawl 6 blocks to my bed.
I found a used condom and a hairbrush in my dryer this morning.
Hiring someone to do your laundry would be a good investment.
so horny i almost want to text him..and then i remember the restraining order i have against him
are you the reason the first floor girls' bathroom smells like weed?
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