oh my she just said cum sticks to her dentures so when she blows if they let her she takes them out
and pubic hair rears its ugly head again
after you threw up, you tried to prove you were sober by reading the ingredients off the shampoo bottles
On the way home from Florida I threw up at the beginning border and ending border of 6 states. You win this year Spring Break.
What can I say? I like my food like I like my women, not entirely fucked by our contemporary world.
And now thanks to shrooms we all got a terrifying glimpse of what goes on in his head. I will not say I didn't see it coming when it turns out he made a suit out of people's skin
I find it fascinating that she'd be more comfortable with her mom finding out she submits dirty disney confessions on tumblr than about her secret email account she uses to chat with dutch and brazilian strangers.
I think the worst was the guy who sent me YouTube videos about how age doesn't matter, and then a link for natural breast enhancements. Kill me.
He should just accept that I want his dick and his friendship. Can't he understand that I don't do emotions?
Are you vicariously golddigging through me?!
Why so philosophical about cake and sex this morning?
I am coming home with the worst sun burn of my life, two unused condoms, and an unworn slutty dress. Worst. Bachelorette. Party. Ever.
hurry there's a jack Daniels slip n slide and clothes are coming off faster than I can even comprehend oh thank god for autocorrect
Think i may just have managed the saddest high-five in history. Finished a sudoku and high-fived myself, then looked around for somebody to high five. there was noone. forever alone.
I miss my innocence.
I miss being able to say, "I've never done this before."
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