She hash tagged the word blow job in her text. Tonight's going to be good.
We just for robbed for the second time. I believe the only thing I have left to my name is my $75 dildo
Apparently she saw two women get in a slapping match over a comforter at target yesterday. She said it was awesome. Clearly I take after her.
The realization of how permanent those tattoos really were set in this morning... I am SO sorry.
pro-tip: weed infused snickerdoodles are far less conspicuous to eat at work than brownies. no one ever suspects the snickerdoodle.
You went to the animal party as a hoodrat. You won the most creative costume contest.
I bruised my dick hopping over that fence last night
Got cut off last night cuz this chick had her hands down my shorts and was blatantly playing with my dick while I was trying to order. apparently that's "frowned upon"
like are we talking 'quick beer' bad or 'break out the real vodka' bad
I did my patriotic duty. I woke up next to a veteran this morning.
Have you considered sword swallowing? Something about that bj tells me you could make a it a career.
Nothing makes me prouder to be liberal and socialist than the idea of desecrating the memory of Ronald Reagan
I just used my sisters cheerleading plaque and a children's book to crush up painkillers to snort. Happy Friday
I just talked with someone about real estate trends in Atlanta then got three blowjobs in a row. Boom.
You ripped his router out of the wall and screamed "I have defeated the matrix"
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