i just threw up in a potted plant at home depot
The seats are awesome but you see two of each player.
I'd steal beers with my tail. If I were a monkey.
i definitely just woke up with half of a cigarette tucked underneath my balls. Last night must have been interesting
So I have some interesting news. The pizza guy called the cops on me...
You tried to poop in the sink last night.
Im making gravy in a lace bra and jeans. Just call me the southwern wet dream
Dropping the entire last roll of TP into the toilet is a hurt you don't want to know.
Feel better punkin. Your balls will be gently resting on my forehead in no time
I hope Team Snapchat has been enjoying our sex snaps all this week.
So I just stirred my shower drink with my razor.
I'm not going to ask which end you used.
My neighbor came out@4am in a pink nite gown n clotheslined a punk on a mo-ped w/her mop handle, then just walked back in her house like she just checked the mail. MILF 1 PUNK 0
Did you get your nipples pierced? I felt something poking through my shirt earlier and I really didn't want to say anything in front of your grandma...
How proud should I be that I googled "dildo with wheels" and actually got the result I wanted?
This is not a test of the emergency warning system. He has broken my vagina. I repeat he has broken my vagina. Damn it was good.
Randomize
