If I could pick any std, I would pick genital herpes. Seriously. Have you seen the commercials? The lady is riding a fucking bike, swimming, and on a date. I have a perfectly fine vag and all I do is go to the library.
I was so drunk I accidentally put in two tampons.
I tried to talk you out of it. You were worried about alcohol being a blood thinner.
my roomate judo was messing around with a girl who recently had a kid, when he was sucking her tits milk came out lmao
I got so many pubes stuck in her braces that when she yanked her head, I cried out like that one girl you "accidentally" rear-ended last week. Bald spots are battle scars.
I wonder if i passed any courses from last semester
Let's create a 16 and pregnant drinking game
You know, he picked a really shitty time to stop sleeping with me to pay attention to his girlfriend.
Just because you put plan b in my Easter basket doesn't give you an excuse not to wear a condom.
There is a nerf war going on here. I just cleaned the blood out of the fridge
Do not buy whiskey under any circumstances. There should be a UN sanctioned buffer zone between me and Seagrams.
They installed a lotion dispenser in the bathroom at work... its like they want me to masturbate on the clock...
Tell Chris I said sorry for yelling "It's my vagina, let me do what I want with it!" at the party last night.
DUDE I FINGERED JOE'S MOM, PLS DONT TELL HIM, MORE LATER
My vagina still hurts from yesterday. That's the last time I think riding a mop bucket is a good idea. Don't let me do that again
the last thing is remember is that strange guy in the leotard...i woke up in my bed, naked, with a half eaten grilled cheese on my nightstand, a six pack in the fridge, a new pack of cigarettes on my pillow and coke in my purse. apparently i bought some drugs, shopped and cooked. typical.
Randomize
