Hows this for an invention: a toilet that weighs your poop
I know ur sleeping, sorry for waking you but i just saw a girl with mittens on using her nose to control her ipod touch
you know what sucks? talking to chicks you dont want to have sex with
when a girl feels in her heart, the way she feels in her vagina, anything is possible.
I was talking to a guy at my work, and mid-sentence he started vomiting violently for about five minutes, then he said, " great dope" and carried on like nothing had happened.
No. He burped at a 3 year old, roared at him and proceeded to scream at the kid's parents to watch their child. The manager of Olive Garden was on our side.
We made a water bong out of a wine bottle... Being an architect major finally payed off.
Im pretty sure by the fifth subway ride after going in circles the four times prior, we all just accepted that we werent making the concert and should instead enjoy our magical weed and tequila laced journey.
She said " I'm going to get her back one day soon for putting extacy in my pop while I drove her to whislter" just a heads up.
It has been so long since I got any action that I have decided to change my vagina's name from "the chamber of judgement" to "the cave of forgotten dreams".
I'm beginning to think that women just have dogs at home as an excuse to leave ASAP after hooking up, without sounding like a typical guy.
Looks like he unfriended you too. I feel like we were both just handed negative pregnancy tests.
she broke the sink..i repeat the sink is off the wall. send help
There. There is gum on my butt cheek IT IS NOT MINE
thank you for the vibrator recommendation, i've come six times today and it's only noon
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