I’m once again drinking at eight am on a Sunday in my tutu. This garment is literally my best purchase ever.
he was in the bathroom singing "will it floooaaat?? will it floooaaat?!" turns out that's a deal breaker for me.
Desperate + desperate does not equal a fun night.
you need to do more things constructive for your career. like wearing pants more often.
so whenever I text yeah my phone automatically corrects it to yeahhhheeehhyeahyeahh .. too much party in the USA?
last night was the icing on my 3 week vodka binge cake
he fucked me so hard i could feel my pelvis shifting. like i legit feel more prepared for childirth now
I just walked past a guy banging a chick in the back of his car.
Nothing quite like the "I had sex you a month ago and now we're stopped at the same 4 way" wave
It's 4am & this guy is asleep with his junk still inside me..really rethinking my life
Sorry I twat blocked you earlier I didn't know Sam was over. But, my house my rules, I don't have to knock before I enter. I did see naked butts and smelt "Sex Stank" in the air, we're going to have to set some ground rules when I get home. Hugs and kisses..Mom
He put his SoundCloud on his Tinder bio. I felt personally attacked.
How bad is it that I can say that this isn't the first time a married man, who is in the military, has tried to make me his mistress?
Passed out in someones front yard last night. Got woke u?p by a lady walking her dog at 6am. Rock bottom.
I’ve been home 1 day and already had sex with my ex and got a blowie from her cousin and currently I’m getting molested by a cougar at the bar!!!! Plenty to give thanks for this year!!!!
Randomize
