the best part about tonight...knowing when i wake up in the morning his car will still be full of packing peanuts..and mine wont
Adam has been drinking
Who has his phone
Adam does
I feel fat after drinking my meal replacement shake.
I added chocolate sauce, a bsg of m&ms and a crushed up brownie to make it taste better.
we went through the mcdonalds drive through and you asked for a free sample of their fries to see how you liked them.
I don't understand how anyone could look at him and think, 'Yeah, that's a good idea.'
I seriously just washed my dick in a public restroom. That's how dirty last night got
The spray paint was a bad idea, 'insert penis here' isn't coming off
Wow, I just woke up in this conference with the woman beside me staring at me. This is what happens when hungover people sit in warm rooms...
UGH FUCK THIS TRAFFIC I WANNA SUCK A DICK
I just love that a strip club has taco Tuesday.
I am so sorry. Not sure for what, but whatever I did last night probably merits an apology, so I'm covering my bases.
I'm to the point where I just want to get back at him in a hot man sex tornado way.
"Because this is an ongoing legal matter" is how his morning after sex text began. So...
She was drunk, dancing on the table. Until the table leg completely broke off and she fell on the ground and broke her front tooth straight off. Worse news is there making her pay for the table
I saw that he had a tattoo of a map of New Jersey on his arm, so i slowed down to like 20mph and pushed him out of the car
Randomize
