Dude my mom stole all your condoms
I'm sitting by the window waiting for the sun to go down so that I can start drinking.
her parents were awake and in the next room. i think i deserve a big fucking medal for that orgasm.
For a second, I wondered if I could smoke pizza.
We could make it a date. Dinner and a show. The show being my nipples getting pierced.
Don't worry we found her. Somehow she ended up on my roof with 2 bar stools
If you would give me the chance we might have the two separate pieces of the greatest fuck puzzle ever.
I haven't seen her in ages, how is she?
Well I woke up next to her this morning so I guess I would say she could be doing better
But here's the wonderful thing about us. It's us. You could invite me over, get really wasted and end up sleeping with someone else and id be there in the morning to take you to breakfast.
Well he's a 33 year old furniture salesman that picked up at 19 year old buying a bedroom set for her room. I can see how that would be awkward
I think I'm in the negatives for the quantity of fucks given today.
I lose my morals, my dignity, and my selfie stick :(
I even put my vibrators back in the bedroom instead of the coffee table. If that's not growing up then I don't know what is.
She couldn't find her toothbrush so I had to wait while she sucked on the 12 peppermints she found under the couch. Pretty resourceful for her level of intoxication.
How early is too early to start day drinking? Asking for a friend
About five minutes ago. You’re good now.
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