i finally understand why guys leave in the middle of the night.......they got it right
all the douches that like ed hardy are the same douches that were obsessed with lisa frank
i cant wait for all this BS that is happening with Tiger to happen to Tebow
i wish there was a photo editing effect that fully opened my drunk eyes
At the airport and im So hungover. Think anyone will help if I put a note on me reading "flying to Boston, please wake me as we board" and then passing back out?
I'm using my ex boyfriends dog to find a guy at the park I could see fuck buddy potential in. I'm the queen of irony.
Whoever decided it was a good idea to sell 40's at a bar with life-sized jenga deserves a nobel prize.
he's speaking broken english and calling me isaac.. this is not the australian i ordered for a one nighter
how many thumbs am i supposed to have at one time
you found the shrooms didnt you
I take your giggles as a yes to operation McLaxitives?
Dude I sat in the corner of the party bobbing my head and singing danger zone
I was telling everyone at the frat that they had to try the "fantastic refreshment" that was everclear, vodka and country time
My Sundays are fucking awful. Can't get a blow job.....can't get a win.
He told me was "pretty like the wife in some movie where the husband is a cheater." I think I'm gonna fuck him.
Me and some guy are crying in a port a potty together after another guy broke up with both of us.
Randomize
