i literally would have sex with every single person on this girls wall, but not her
Heyyyy darlin are you busy?
Why hello drunk Jake. It's sober Sarah, I'll tell drunk Sarah you booty called. She'll probably be around tomorrow night.
what's with the bloody hand print on the hood of your car
i just woke up to a text from him apologizing for making me eat a full lemon
Btw sorry for throwing that bag of ice at your face lastnight....
Anything that comes outta your cooch is bound to be breathtaking
That could use a little rephrasing
That is the best grammar in a dirty text ever. Excellent use of the semi-colon. And yes; I am hard.
Also txt me when you take your first dump of the year... I'd like to synchronize if that's at all possible.
I can dry shave vagina like a champ
Well it's official... The first guy I ever gave head to now holds 2 world records. Should I text him asking if I can try and break my record?
She has the perfect pussy. Looks like a paper cut with a puff of cotton candy on top.
Lets think Pancakes and sausages into existence
Well I just finished dry heaving so I think breakfast is a little further out for me
Also, there's a guy walking around the kitchen in a shark onzie, and he just asked if we've ever smoked weed with a shark before. I'm dying
For the love of all that is holy just take the tranquilizers Erica
Randomize
