bras are like tupperware for tits, keeps em fresh.
winter break is going to suck... i have to put away my college personality and transform into who my parents think i am.
I'm drinking a margarita out of my 'best bj' trophy and it tastes like victory.
Well, I can't relate. I have no idea what it feels like to withhold sex. Or have self-control in general.
nothing says "we're all in this together" like the herpes she passed around to our entire group of friends
How am I?!! The turkey is dry as shit, I'm watching football in low def and there's no beer b/c everyone is in aa. Fuck giving thanks.
Chick in class has 69 tattooed on the back of her neck. Target acquired.
Quick question, when did I develop feelings, and how can I make them go away?
That's two questions.
No I just rolled on the floor giggling. I think that's the equivalent to a post sex victory dance.
God gave me a talent besides one night stands. I feel like I should use it
All I've been thinking about for the past 12 hours is sex and SEAWORLD
I cant believe you made me read bad furry sexts
Explain to me how we're not being documented on? A gynecologist I saw two times 8 years ago popped up on my people you may know list on fb. What in the actual fuck?
Dude. I’m playing chess through iMessage with a stripper. What has my life become.
i dunno dude, he took his shirt off and is rubbing jello shots on himself. i think he's done
Randomize
