Applied 4 a nanny job usin a Legit Site. Xplain to me how the couple I found offered me a 3some complete with 'sexy pics' of the wife blowin hubby. wtf?
obviously you're part succubus.
I just heard an old guy ask the chick he was with if she wanted to try ass to mouth...
thanks for that.
No way. Our relationship is based solely on texting and sex. A phone call would be too much at this point.
By midnight I was dipping doritos in frosting...that's how my simmer break diet is going.
Somehow me not being able to breathe due to cocaine doesn't seem very domesticated.
I'm spoon feeding myself tequila for breakfast, should we skip class today?
Also, you tried to make me learn all of the presidents, in order, with a picture book as an aid. At 4 am. What the fuck?
Dude imagine how many pictures of dicks Obama gets. That can't be unusual. Almost every kids in the US has written the president a letter.
I found your dog. Now we are bros, so he is staying. Don't call, don't make it weird.
Just heard a girl ask "Wait you're not my boyfriend?!" to a guy wearing the Mickey to her Minnie Mouse on my way home. Made me feel better about myself.
I wish I got like a congrats basket for being a responsible sexually active member of society complete with condoms, tissues and lollipops.
Being in the club with your moms drunk friends > having a healthy relationship with your mom
Who's the naked guy asleep in your car?
Your shirt... Was in my pants
Just made a drug contact standing in the sandwich line in the dining hall. Is this real life?
You're my fucking hero.
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