Um, that's called prostitution
Not if I leave it on the nightstand, then it's called cab money
How are you going to be there by 9am?
Relax I always go to these conferences hung over
You say that like it's a positive quality
I have vodka an food stamps. At some point today, that will undoubtedly turn into jello shots.
i woke up to the sound of my roommate climbing onto my desk mumbling that she was going to bed
Counseling BFF to break up with her BF. We will get that 3-way
Cancel that soberness update. I just almost fell down in the security line
I just had to MC for a middle school event with jizz on my dress. I'm going to hell.
A French guy bit my cheek. Is that sexy there? Also had to threaten to stab the bus driver. I'm not sure I like Europe.
If kinky sex was an Olympic sport they would be playing the anthem for me as we speak.
My tits, and hanging out behind a hotel eating pizza.
I overcharge people for their weed so you can have yours for free, because I care
I'm wearing spiderman underwear, the question is what am I NOT capable of
I woke up this morning wearing his boxers as a shirt
Remember when I convinced you to watch me eat my sandwich just so you could reuse my plate and save us money on our water bill? I'm so ecofriendly when I'm high
I've been getting a lot of emails from patron lately for being a great customer. Is that awesome, or should I start thinking about seeking help?
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