I never noticed this but I have a beauty mark on my labia minora
Please tell me how you discovered this.
I was looking in the mirror snooping around
Ok pretty sure I just saw Mike O'Malley walking through the parking lot. I wanted to see if I followed him, would he lead me to the acro-criag, i've always wanted a crack at that bitch.
his prince albert piercing just severely cut the roof of my mouth. can you pick me up at the hospital if he drops me off?
My dad just walked in on me screwing the chick from the bar...the look of relief on his face was sort of hurtful.
I swear that when I have my own bathroom, I'm gonna lock myself in there and masterbate for at least 3 days in sheer appreciation of it.
Had a couple pieces of pizza for breakfast...suck on that Jamie Oliver.
the girls im babysitting are trying to see how much jello they can swallow without chewing...their future boyfriends are lucky
We're listening to the crystal method and doing bong hits for jesus
How are you texting me from 1998?
Just found out my mom's voicemail password is 6969..
I learned an important lesson this weekend.... I'm way to good at sex to travel for it. From now on he drives here...
Hes the only one i know who can talk to a girl for an entire hour abuot the science in starwars and still get laid.
Seriously he's so hot. And it's so hard to flirt with a deaf guy
Yeah, first date. First take a pic of him to circulate around for your friends and than have him fill out a short penis questionnaire. Seems completely legit to me.
She's eating hot cheetos out of the bag with chopsticks, Matt, how is she NOT my soulmate?
Its a shame I cant put 'bomb ass head game' on my resume.
Randomize
