A joint and a Nerds Rope = breakfast of champions for the unemployed
This is evicking siegelnvs
Im sorry?
This is fucking ridiculous*
You look like a girl that would like strip clubs
You were right. It hurts to walk today.
there's just something about her that screams "i'm into chicks who wear flannel"
This girl just stopped in the middle of a sentence because of my blue eyes. She said she got lost in them. I am laying pipe tonight.
I have no idea how to attract men with my personality anymore. He can't see my tits via facebook chat
Roommate is high and swore off off the diet. Said she wants to make everyone else fat since it'd be easier. She spent today baking 3 dozen brownies for the office tomorrow and is already down to 24.
Dedication to a hook up: I had to recruit five people at the train station to help me buy a ticket from a kiosk and get on the right train in 15 minutes because I discovered that my car was stolen.
I've taken a shot every five minutes for the past twenty. His valentines cupcakes are going to be a fucking delicious vodka induced mess. Thinking about putting vodka in this next batch. I'm the best girlfriend.
The dicks good but it's not two trains and a bus good.
You set fire to his cat.
In my defense, I did not think it would be in the trash bag.
Dont ask questions just say words. where can i find plan b?
We did blind alcohol taste testing and she got 10 of 10. I'm in love.
Rough birthday weekend. Eating McDonalds in the shower and used a fifth of sky as a pillow last night
Randomize
