these burps are starting to have way more vomit in them,
He is such a gentleman, he paid for my plan b
you're bored at work aren't you?
I'm toying with the idea of beating off under my desk
I spent all day at the mall with her, then she made me actually watch a walk to remember then decided to tell me she was on her period. This one is either really crafty or I am really desperate.
some guy just pulled a dress out of a fax machine...I have no idea what the hell is going on
A slipped finger up the butt isn't the end of the world
First date: that requires underwear, huh?
Jesus told me in my dream not to go to the party. I am athiest for tonight PARTY ON
Hold on - sidebar. My best friend just threw a 40 pack of condoms through my window.
$1 drinks and Playboy theme. I am never leaving this place
He talked for 3 hours straight on how his dad is a dentist how fuck do you think my night was
We were having sex and my nose just started pouring blood. He reached down to the floor, grabbed a sock and held it to my nose. He just kept pounding away like nothing was happening.
And he listens to me when I talk to him like the hulk.
Ps he swallowed my earring last night so yeah
If he sends me a dick pic so help me god.
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