This guy sitting next to me just bought a plot of land off the internet. On a whim. In the middle of class
How do i ask the guy i made out with for 4 hours if he is gay? He keeps telling me i'm so adorable and that he had a ''blasty''
Thats a flattering suggestion doug but lets be clear NO you may not put your face in my vagina just because ur not charging me a cover. sorry.
new revelation: five guys for breakfast
new revelation: previous revelation not a good revelation
I can't believe all I ate yesterday was half a turkey sandwich and 20 finger licks of exctasy.
He's paying me $45 to clean his room and $55 if i find the oxy that he lost.
They had to restock the bar 3 times before midnight. There is a bridesmaid dress hanging in a tree outside.
Can you tell me how this chicken finger got in my pillow case?
You're the only person I know who would be upset about making out with a girl you like. You're like a drunken Charlie Brown.
i'm totally cool with all the dick sucking you're doing down there, but as your brother i think i'm supposed to warn you our parents will be home in 5
YOU BROUGHT HANDCUFFS TO THE WHITE ELEPHANT EXCHANGE AND DIDN'T TELL ME???
A picture of a damn cupcake brought back 3 fuckboys
Literally I can feel my heart beat in my vagina because of how sore I am
I would but he’s not speaking to me because I put ketchup in his socks.
Me and my boss just exchanged pictures of our bongs and such...I don't know I feel about this
Randomize
