He kept yelling "osteoporosis" and threw milk at her because she broke her arm.
i had confetti in my bra
i still find it in random places like a shoe or my car. that week haunts me
You convinced me that eggnog and rum is a great moisturizer.
It's a self-perpetuating puke chain.
On another note, why did I wake up wrapped in bubble wrap. I can only assume it was for my own safety
im not trying to sound dramatic, but im covered in microwavable lasagna
I don't care what you say, the fact that he's a drag queen with the same shoe size as me is reason enough to date him
I JUST SEARCHED GINGER COCK ON TUMBLR AND THEY'RE ALL REALLY WELL HUNG? I'M CRYING. IS THIS HOW GINGERS KEEP REPRODUCING?
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU?
He staggered in with his pants around his ankles and yelled that he lost his pants
you licked my face then when I finally got you to the bathroom, mid puke you said you liked the taste of my foundation.....you weren't drunk at all....
I'm way too hungover for life right now
YOUR VAGINA IS SO CUTE IT'S LIKE A LITTLE MACAROON
So, anyways, aside from wanting to seduce my roommate for booze, how's everything been
I'm basically cruising around listening to 90's gangsta rap with my meatball sub telling people to go fuck themselves
the cop found his r2d2 bong and asked me if i ever smoked out of him. i'm like, no sir. he's like ahh. if i were to smoke, it'd definitely be out of some star wars character.
easily made my night.
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