Dry humping a girl for an hour and then jizzing in your pants doesn't count as losing it.
still doesn't change the fact you were dunking your sock in the toilet.
there are 10 yearolds here who keep calling me on the elbow rule!
Wait are they playing beer pong to?
fyi, she knows we call her the sperm bank. watch your back.
the best sex is "duke just lost" sex.
I woke up to a bag of pies and a lot of questions
I know. I need to get a vagina tranquilizer.
You misunderstood me....i wasnt asking and it is not negotiable
You're making this sound more like a hostage situation than a booty call.
Drunk cheerio confetti may seem like a brilliant idea when your drunk, but believe me, the next day, its a horrible, horrible mess.
Do you know what the cost code is for strip clubs? I'm filling out my company expense report right now
I just want a teacup pet pig so I can take him to parties with me and never have to walk home alone again.
cake and sex. what better combination is there.
Ive decided to see your threat against my life as you flirting
Just got back from a Walmart run. The music went straight from Kid Rock to John Phillip Souza. If that doesn't scream 'MURICA I don't know what will. Happy 4th!
We went to the midnight donut shop and you hopped the counter and told everyone to "Get the Fuck out of your Bar" but to also "Make yourselves at home".
Randomize
