My feet smell like cheese. Makes me hungry.
He is such a slut. More and more my type.
He looked way older than 15. He probably thought that since I have braces I was 15. Fuck. The 6 year age gap is never to be spoken about. Especially because what happened constitutes as illegal.
Well now I have my semen on her headphones
the bar just sent me a facebook message congratulating me on being a regular and getting such good grades. my life is not real.
Second day of summer classes and i already got this girl to send me nudes during class
that is WHY your in summer classes
worth it
Of all the shitty people we associated with, you should be happy that I'm the one fucking your cousin. Sorry.
I feel like a monkey keeps fucking me in the ear with a trombone as a dick.
I taped a pair of scissors and a coupon for a waxing on the door. He gets to choose.
Welp, dad and I drunkenly sang Christmas carols until the police told us to stop. I vote Xmas eve a success
Yeah. Well last night I sold my shoes to a man who I'm pretty sure has a weird foot fetish for $150 cash.
You just get me....like our souls are boning in the spirit world
I'm chasing my vodka with snickers.
I think my moral compass just broke
"Here let me wipe my uterus off your dick" was probably the most unsexy thing said after period sex. I should get an award
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