how do you spell 'special'? like slow?
S P E L L C H E C K
No you dumbass thats not right
she had condoms in her med. cabinet - magnums -I don't think I'm tall enough for this ride
Why do you apologize after every time we have sex?
No need to clean the puke on the driveway. The squirrel is eating it up.
His ankle bracelet only gets in the way when I'm trying to take off his pants.
this dude just took some girl under your house for half an hour. you may have helped a 17 year old fuck on the beach for the first time. congrats.
hiding in a bush to avoid a seven dollar cab ride. cabby got out a flashlight and looked for us for like an hour. help.
Meeting relatives from another state drenched in tequila and smelling of weed. I'm gonna kill you for soaking the only bra I brought in Jose Cuervo Gold.
...I think i just fell in love with a random undergrad at first glance. He was the awkward young adult version of captain hook. Dear god i need to get off this campus.
By this time next year I expect us to have full time jobs that we can call out of so we can day drink on beautiful days like this. Oh, and grill.
YOU DRINK NOW BECAUSE YOU ARE A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN WHO DOESN'T NEED A DRINKING PARTNER
Our prom king just sent me a dick pic. I know it's 10 years later but I feel like I've finally made it.
So the remote for the camera in the photo booth must have gotten dropped on the floor. while you were in there. having a threesome. on the floor of the room where my parents stay when they visit me. so thanks.
I’m a go ahead and fuck down ATL. So when I leave in January I’ll have no regrets.
My drug dealer just told me goodnight...I still don't know his name. But I guess you can say we've moved to the next step.
Randomize
