You don't need id to drink rum in an alley.
So...AT&T finally added picture messaging for iPhone...bring on the tits!!!
A chick at the bar last night took my black berry, looked at my Brick Breaker score and told me she couldnt take someone that has a lower score than her seriously.
my mom just asked me about sexting and if I have ever sent a naked picture to anyone. i fucking hate fox news.
the worst part is we had a camera rolling
Did his mom notice it when she saw u guys?
Yes.
I have to watch that.
Just because im a good person doesn't mean that I don't reserve the right to be a complete dick about it.
I woke up to you singing What Makes You Beautiful and trying to blend an avocado with vodka.
Going to a professional golf course at 2am to throw the flag poles like javelins
I just got fingered in the Win-Co parking lot for pills. How's your meltdown going?
I cannot lay down. I will throw up my life and your life and the class hamster I had in third grade.
I woke up in the basement of a pizza restaurant... I would say the tequila hit me pretty hard.
After an orgasm, I always feel the urge to sing A Whole New World from the move Aladdin and I'm not quite sure why.
just drove past - why are you walking towards the shop in your pyjamas?
Can't talk, on a quest for bacon.
we should paint friendship bongs
Try me, you 5'5 gremlin
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