No, I'm talking to this Chinese girl. Can't understand a word she's saying, but i think i caught the word vagina a few times.
I wanna go to beed woth a nboy
I wonder if there will ever be a day where I don't find lisps really really hilarious.
He said he wanted to have butt sex with me and curl up with me after and just be near me. Then he passed out.
I imagine I kinda look like a banana with one boob out.
The real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch Buck Rodgers on Tuesday.
Building a door into the garage so when I bring girls home my mom doesn't wake up.
Pathetic yet considerate
I'LL COME GET YOU. GOTTA FIND A SUIT THAT COVERS TIT BRUISES FIRST.
Plus i lost a button on my shirt and we got free drinks all night. Sorry I'm not sorry.
Man, you got so high you own goaled yourself in FIFA then got up celebrating.
now that we broke up we are playing hot potato with the cock ring.. Poor thing just needs a home
He fucked me so well and hard that the couch slid into the Christmas tree. I had to pull branches out of my hair.
The more time I spend surrounded by Mormons, the more I miss alcohol.
Holding your hair back while you puked wasn't a choice. I was handcuffed to you.
Guys are like someone else's baby; i'll play with them but if responsibility is involved i'll hand them off.
Randomize
