oh posh. I need a real boy. To fill my void. This guy has potential. He is a Republican.
***** and i were talking about Republicans today. They are usually the champs of mediocrity but we decided mediocrity is underrated.
he kept kneeing me like he was playing footsies... only then i realized it was his dick.
Um don't talk to me about fat. I just used my chip bag to cover up all my candy wrappers in the garbage.
I found those 18 whoppers we bought.
I never kept track of who else he slept with. You think I have the time or the energy to keep track of every dick in my life?
Just caught my first cougar this fake was worth every fucking penny.
Oh, I forgot to ask if u have any idea what happened to the back of my ear and if u were present when I almost fell off the roof...
Not sure if this is better or worse than the discovery that bourbon and hot chocolate is a viable combo
I fingered myself to realization that I don't need birth control if there is never a guy.
You didn't say, "No." And you stole more than half of my Snickers. You owed me that dick.
so I may or may not have had intense sex to mozart's greatest hits on vinyl... I don't know if I should be proud or just really disappointed in my nerdness
What's the rule for getting in fights with homeless men in suits?
Here's a rule: don't
As I took my shirt off he commented on how great my boobs where. I responded with "thanks, I grew them myself"
You left your hot dogs in my dresser again
have you ever tried to puke in an automatic flushing toilet? impossible
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